When I moved to Texas from the north 13 years ago, I had no idea what plants worked in the hot climate and Hill Country rocky soil. So I did what any good Yankee would do and went to the local nursery to find out. This black thumb (and I mean, I can kill a plant just by looking at it) asked the worker that saw me wandering lost and clueless among the aisles of unknown shrubs for the most resilient Texas plant.
Knock-out roses, she said. You can’t kill ’em even if you tried.
Watch me, I promised.
But she was right. We bought some knock-out roses, red ones, and boy were they resilient. They thrived and grew despite how much or how little water or sun or attention they got, and they were beautiful. Every house I’ve owned in Texas (and there have been three so far) I have planted them because, well, even I can keep them alive, no matter what.
I see these roses daily, in my own yard and on my runs throughout various areas and neighborhoods. They bring me such pleasure, especially knowing how hard they need to work to survive.
I talked about these roses with a client the other day. This client has experienced some particularly horrific life events, more in her young 18 years than most have in a lifetime. This client’s story is one that could have gone in a way different direction, but instead, this client is graduating high school and heading off to college and planning a future that is greatly unknown but wide open with possibility.
In our session, this client was running down on what she perceived to be negative qualities, such as “I’m self-destructive in relationships,” “People don’t like me as much as I like them,” “I hate most of my appearance,” and so on and so forth.
You need to give yourself credit, I replied. I compared her to a knock-out rose – resilient under the most trying of circumstances, and even thriving through it all. That’s a gift that you have, I told this client, and something that no one can ever take away – the ability to persevere and keep growing despite everything and everyone else.
At the end of the session, she was smiling. “I guess I am pretty resilient,” she said. “I hate that I always have to be, but I am.” We talked about where resilience can take you in life, and how she has already, unknowningly, applied it to her own life in many different areas.
I know I will think about this client every time I see those roses. And I know that she’ll be okay, no matter what comes her way.
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