Blog Post: Change

I recently spoke with a friend who dropped off her third and last child at college, at a university nearly four hours away. She and her husband of 25 years are now officially “empty nesters,” and she was, as any person is in a transition situation, experiencing a range of emotions.

“I’m not ready for this,” she told me, through tears. “I just cannot imagine walking in the house and having it be silent and having no kids there.”

Although she was excited for her daughter and knew it was the proper order of events in her life (educate child, raise child, encourage her to go to school, give her the skills and means to venture out on her own), she was terrified of the change it brought and the unknown shift in the dynamics of her home.  There were lots of unknowns in her life that she now had to face.

“Change is hard,” I told her. “It’s simply hard.”

Whether it’s a job, a move, a relationship status, whether it’s by choice or something that is thrust upon us, change is daunting. It’s unnerving. It’s scary. And it’s hard. There are lots of “what ifs” – what if I hate my new job? What if I regret leaving this relationship? What if we can’t afford the new house? What if, what if, what if?

But back to my friend. I wanted her to focus on the positives of her new situation. Instead of looking at the hours of her nights as empty, she can now utilize the time for things that had gone by the wayside in her life – sewing, girl’s nights out (with me, of course!), date night with her husband and long walks with her dogs.

We can either fear change, or welcome it.  Sometimes we do both. Some days, the fear takes over. Other times, we thrive and rise up to the challenge. There is no “right” formula for dealing with change, only the one that works for us as individuals. One thing in life is certain: there is constant change, and we need to learn how to manage, accept, and embrace it.